3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
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