just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
Randomize
