Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
