i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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