Apparently you make a good broom.
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Randomize
