Just fell off a train. Bad.
Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Randomize
