2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
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