hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
