if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
He better not be in your backpack
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Randomize