Well douche your snatch and let's go!
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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