we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
