exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
