No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
