hell yes lets make some ravioli
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
