shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Randomize
