oh god the rape fog is back!
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
