nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Randomize
