Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
