He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
