I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
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