That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
