I think i sorta joined a cult last night
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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