Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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