the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
