She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Randomize
