I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Randomize
