6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
