So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
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