i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I will pee on everything he values.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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