Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
