he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
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