is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Randomize
