mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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