I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
