I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Randomize
