He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.�
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
