The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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