Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
