Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
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