If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Randomize
