I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize