i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I forgot how hot balto sounded
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
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