Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
