I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
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