i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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