What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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