Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Who died my cat blue again?
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Randomize
