If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Randomize
