Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
He did a backflip because drugs
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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