so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
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